Confrontations
by Dwight4Studly
Summary: Three different confrontations work toward the same goal. Sirius wants to know if Remus is or isn’t … RemusSirius, slash.
1. 1971

**Confrontations**

Summery: Three different confrontations work toward the same goal. Sirius wants to know if Remus is or isn't … Remus/Sirius, slash.

Rating: M, for adult content in later chapters.

**1971**

"No. He can't be. They wouldn't let him in the school if he was." James said, curling his legs up to his chest, leaning back on his bed. His face held a sense of fear over the thought. Of course, it wasn't every day that he sat and tried to figure out if one of his good friends is a monster.

"He must. What else could it be?" Sirius counteracted, pacing the room. His eyes kept flickering over to Remus' bed, studying it as if it held the answer to their question. Peter watched curiously as Sirius moved to the empty bed, as he opened the curtains. He ran his hands carefully over the smoothed sheets, looking around the inside of the confined space.

"Maybe his relatives really are that sick. I mean, diseases run in families all the time. Maybe his just got the short end of the stick and they are all sick most of the time. They could all be anemic," Peter suggested. "Why do you care so much?"

Sirius waved him off. He honestly didn't know why he cared. He just assumed that if any of the other boys were distant and strange, he'd question them as well. He supposed it was a character flaw of over-inquisitive nature. "That doesn't explain the wounds. What about those big scars he has? They're all over his arms. Don't tell me you didn't see them when he was putting on his shirt the other day. Why else would he always wear thick, long clothes and refuse to change in front of us?"

"I don't know, Sirius. He might just be cold all the time, for all we know. Or maybe his family is abusive. That's it! We need to stop all the nonsense about Remus being a werewolf. It's obvious that it's his family who is the real problem. They always want him to be around so they can use him as a bloody punching bag. Poor bloke," James said sadly, sounding quite sure. Sirius knew everything there was about abuse, and he knew that at least _his_ mother made sure his scars were not visible. This just wasn't the same. But he wasn't about to tell the other boys about that part of his life.

"What about the shapes of his ears? His teeth? His eyes? What about all the other signs? I mean, come on; it's in every textbook in the school!" No response. Sirius couldn't hold back his frustration. He knew they knew he was right, they just didn't want to confess to it. He admitted that the thought was horrifying, but this was Remus. He was a good chap. Quiet, strange, but good. He was the glue of sanity that held them all together. How bad could it be that he was a werewolf? "Why is it, then, that he always leaves around the full moon? Isn't that curious enough for you?" Sirius asked.

James stood, facing Sirius. "It is, but we've only known him for a year. How can we just say, 'Oi, Remus. As if you are not strange enough as it is, we think that you're a werewolf on top of it all.' He would be insulted for sure."

"He's not strange," Sirius mumbled, looking over at Remus' bed again. "He's just-"

James clapped his hands squarely on Sirius' shoulders, making him face him. "I mean, really. Werewolf. It's ridiculous, and you know it Black."

"Everyone knows werewolves are not allowed to roam freely. Think of the mass chaos. They'd be eating people left and right. The ministry wouldn't allow it. That's why you never see them around, because they're animals that are locked away," Peter said. "My father knows because he works for the Ministry. They deal with those creatures every day."

That's what Sirius had always been taught, too. He'd never met a werewolf in all his life. His family had ties with a vampire clan in France, but he never heard of civilized people being in contact with werewolves. In the back of his mind he even questioned that. But they would discuss that after he convinced the other boys that he was right. "They made an exception for him, then. Maybe it's because he's young. But I know, for a fact, that Remus is a werewolf!"

Just as those last words left his lips, the three boys were startled to hear the heavy door to their dorm creak open. There stood Remus in the doorway, looking like a cornered animal, hand still on the door, looking like he would bolt at any moment. Under the long cloak, they could see bandages just at the collar of his neck and on the cuff of both arms. His face was beaten with small bruises just above his left eye brow and on his bottom lip. He quivered visibly, but tried to keep a calm air. "What's going on, guys?" He said this steadily, but his voice cracked at the last second. Sirius was close enough to see how shallow his breathing was and it hit a spot down in his stomach to see him like this. The tension in the room was so thick it swathed Sirius's skin like a scalding fog.

"Hey Remus," James said nervously. "How was your family?"

Sirius could see him strain to stay calm, and he relaxed his shoulders to show them that nothing was wrong. "Everyone was fine. Mother was in a better mood than last time. Her tuberculosis is finally lifting, so she was laughing more than usual. Aunt Gillian is still sick with fever, however. We still can't figure out what it is. I'm probably going to have to go back to see her next month. I hope not, at least."

There was a long pause that left Remus looking between each boy. "I thought you were going home to your great grandfather's wake," Peter said, moving behind James.

Remus flustered and forgot all about covering up his shaking. His hand gripped the door handle again and moved to run but Sirius dived after him, pinning him to the wall. Remus nearly collapsed against him, his heart pounding furiously and his body set into near convulsions. "Get off me, Sirius. I don't want to hurt you," Remus cried, pushing against Sirius to let him go. James and Peter came running, completing the circle around Remus.

"It's okay," Sirius said calmly, fighting to gain some control over the other boy. "It's okay that we know."

"No! It's not okay!" Remus shouted, gasping for breath. "I'm warning you, get off of me." When Sirius would not let up, Remus let a growl from the back of throat that nearly made all three boys yelp in terror, and his eyes flashed dangerously. And with strength like nothing he had ever known, Sirius was pushed back, nearly crashing into the trunk across the room. If James and Peter hadn't caught him, he was sure that force of his fall could've broken something, whether it be a piece of furniture or one of his bones.

Remus backed into the corner of the room, sliding down the wall into a crumpled heap, hyperventilating, scratching desperately at his throat. "Water," he choked, his eyes streaming, his face as pale as death. He was going to pass out at any moment. Peter rushed to the tin pitcher by the bathroom, handing it hastily to Remus, who downed it greedily. They all stood there, horrified, as Remus gulped, eyes clenched tightly. Sirius had never seen Remus panic like that, and it terrified him. He was so accustomed to Remus being so quiet and mild. The sudden change made him aware of how serious the situation really was. Remus was capable of anything. He was not like them; not human. An unfamiliar thrill ran up his spine, one that he could not quite categorize. Instead, he shoved the feeling to the back of his mind for later evaluation. What was important now was that Remus was his friend and that was all that mattered to him at the moment.

Remus threw the empty pitcher across the room, causing the three to jump. He breathed deeply, eyes out of focus. Sirius could see the wounds he tried to cover start to break open again, the blood staining the bandages. Remus noticed these as well and he ripped off his heavy cloak revealing under his blood stained white collar shirt many more opened wounds. They scattered his torso, from his belly to his collar bone. Sirius took a step forward, not realizing what he was doing. Remus shuddered away from him, huddling against the wall. He hid his face in his fists, soaked bangs scattered over his white knuckles. He drew his knees to his chest, staying dangerously still.

"I'm sorry," Remus said quietly. "I'll pack my stuff tonight. You'll never have to see me again, I swear. Just pretend that you never knew me. You don't want to be associated with a monster, anyway. Merlin knows how that will mare your lives." This last statement was dripping with disgust, whether for himself or the others, Sirius was not sure and he shook his head.

"No one will know about this," James said, stepping forward. All fear had left his face. "You're our friend, Remus. No matter what you are, you're still that."

Peter shuffled his feet nervously. But after he took a deep breath of air, he stood up straight. "James is right. We don't care about you being a … a werewolf."

Remus lifted his face from his hands slowly, looking Sirius in the eye. "And you? Are you going to tell the whole school about me?" His voice held something that shook Sirius' very core, and it hurt him.

He reached down for his hand. Remus looked at it disbelievingly, his fists tightening. Impatiently, Sirius grabbed it, pulling him to his feet. Remus swayed on the spot as Sirius brushed his shirt, smoothing out the wrinkles, careful to avoid contacting the many new, bleeding lacerations. Before Sirius knew what came over him, he gently took the boy in his arms in a brotherly hug. "Come on. Let's get you to the infirmary. You must still be sore. We don't have to go in with you, but at least let us walk with you," he said in his ear, not letting go. James and Peter came up from behind Sirius, putting their hands on Remus' shoulders and back, reassuring that they meant it as well. Remus just stood there, gripping at Sirius' back tightly, burying his face in his neck. Sirius felt tears soak his skin, but he would never tell the others. Sirius wanted only to be his pillar for that one moment. After a year of watching him closely, studying his every move possibly just set a strange bond between them. It was one that he wasn't ready to let go of. So he held on as tightly to it as he could.

A.N./ The next chapter is almost finished. So, if you want the next installment soon, you have to comment. Sounds like a plan? I think so.


	2. 1976

**Confrontations**

Summery: Three different confrontations working toward the same goal. Sirius wants to know if Remus is or isn't … Remus/Sirius, slash.

Rating: M, for adult content.

A.N.: Even old New York was once New Amsterdam. Why they changed it, I can't say. People just liked it better that way.

**1976**

"No. He can't be," said Peter, horrified. "He can't be that way. Do you know how ridiculous that seems? I mean, guys just don't …"

James sat in a squishy arm chair, his long legs dangling over the arm rest, surveying the empty common room and contemplating the whole situation. "I don't know, Pete. I know that there are at least a few blokes around here who are different like that. Gudgeon, the big burley one on the team, seems a little like he's, oh, what's the word …"

"Bent." Peter said, shivering. "I don't even want to think about it. Two guys, hugging, kissing, Merlin knows what else. Makes me sick. But that only affects adults, doesn't it? The symptoms don't appear until you're in your twenties. It can't possibly be here at school, and especially to Remus. That's just so wrong."

"Not to mention that it's illegal."

"Oh James, when have you ever cared when something has been legal or not?" This was the first time that Sirius had spoken in a good five minutes. James looked like he had started to worry about him. He figured that he was as equally shocked at Peter's accusations. But what had happened was a shock for them all.

Last night they had transformed by the werewolf's side, steadying him in his nightmare. After the group had found the solution to helping their friend on these full moons all four of the boys actually looked forward to the midnight chill. And Sirius was surprised that Remus had started to relax about these nights. He'd sit back and smile at the three of them as they talked about what they could get into the next night. It had thoroughly changed his life for the better and he was obviously more than grateful for such friends. They would all romp and play, reveling in the absolute freedom, chasing bowtruckles and fairies out of the forest and into the open field. Moony and Padfoot would wrestle to the ground, nipping at each other's ears and muzzles, growling happily as Prongs and Wormtail would weave in and out between them. Afterwards, they'd all curl up together in the shack, resting for a day of classes and pranking, silently congratulating each other for a good night's worth of play.

However, last night was different. The wolf was more protective, more guarded. Especially when it came to Padfoot, his fellow canine. When Padfoot wrestled with Moony in the grass, rolling over atop him, Remus would no longer be himself, his eyes sharpening, showing that he was now the wolf, and he would pin him down as if he was telling him to stop acting like a cub. It was even worse when the others tried to join in on the romp. The wolf would growl ferociously at them, teeth bared, blocking them from getting anywhere near Padfoot who whimpered, confused as to what he was suppose to do. And then it happened. Nearing the peak of the full moon, while Sirius was trying to get Moony to return to his old self with playful barks and bites, the werewolf took him by the scruff of the neck, growling softly, and threw him down. It was more the shock than pain that startled him, though he knew there was going to be a mark in the morning. Before he knew it, the wolf was on top of him. Before anything could happen Prongs was able to part them and the wolf ran off into the woods.

Padfoot was left in a heap, trembling in fear and intense pleasure. He hated it. Hated the fact that the whole ordeal left him aching and wanting more than he had ever felt in his entire teenage life. Thankfully neither of the boys had noticed or let on that they had noticed, the stench of arousal surrounding him. They slowly made their way out to find the wolf again. He was just on the outskirts and they approached him with caution, not knowing exactly what to do. But, as if nothing had happened, Moony trotted his way towards Padfoot, who stiffened visibly. After a few playful snuffs at his muzzle and nips at his ears Moony, tail high in the air, proceeded to try and persuade Padfoot to chase him. After exchanging a few worried looks, the others decided that it was something that even Remus wasn't aware of himself and they began to chase Moony into a clearing. That morning, as Moony curled up against Padfoot, head lying softly on the dog's paws, Sirius wondered what it all meant. What was he to do when Remus couldn't even remember what had happened?

"I mean, he would be put in jail for buggery ..."

Sirius felt his heart constrict in his chest. He had known that it was illegal, and the thought didn't usually bother him until someone said it aloud. It made no sense to him. Of course, many things didn't make sense to him at the moment. Like, why did Peter and James care so much? Why were there laws against people who just loved differently? Why did he have to love Remus differently? But he did. For the past year now, actually.

"Anyway, he likes girls," James said. "Just yesterday he was talking about pining over someone. He wouldn't give her name, but he seemed to have fallen for her pretty hard."

A sick chill ran up Sirius' spine. His skin itched at the thought of Remus with some girl. Or anyone else, for that manner. Sirius was sure what he felt was real, though. Something in his gut told him that it could not be true; Remus had to be exactly like him. But he didn't know if was absolute truth or just a desperate excuse that he was feeding himself. "He probably does," Sirius lied, his stomach churning. "He's been walking around like a love sick puppy."

"Well, at least that is settled," Peter said, letting out a gust of breath. "I can't believe that you guys could even think that Remus was gay."

"It does seem a little ridiculous," James laughed, but Sirius could see a trace of a question on his face.

"What would we do if Remus was a shirt lifter, anyway?" Sirius asked with a nervous laugh, fingering a string that had come undone at the shoulder of his cloak, but he did not take his eyes away from his two friends.

"I don't know," Peter said, putting his cloak back on, packing his things away. "Suppose it'd be too late to switch dorms?" He laughed at this, shouldering his bag. "Well, I have class. I'll see you two later. Tell Remus that I hope he finds his perfect queer!" He laughed again, his chortles now chest-heaving peals, murmuring to himself over how ludicrous it was as he left the two boys.

Sirius saw James slightly shake his head before gathering his own things. Sirius nervously watched him in silence, waiting for him to answer his question. James glanced over at him, stuffing his books farther into his bag. "You think he is, don't you," he said simply, refusing to meet his eyes. It wasn't a question.

"Yes," replied Sirius without even thinking about it.

"So do I."

There was a pregnant pause and Sirius thought he was going to die from the suspense. "And you know what the weirdest thing about is? I'm okay with it. I mean, I'd rather not see it or anything like that, but still. Why shouldn't he be able to do what he wants? He's restricted enough," James said sadly. "And, you know, it is okay with me." He gave a sad, knowing smile, clapping Sirius on the shoulder. "Do you need to talk about last night? I know that we keep avoiding it and everything, but if you need to …"

Sirius shook his head, relieved with what he had heard. "No, I'm okay. Remus can't even remember it happening," he said, rubbing the back of his neck where his hair covered the mark. His fingertips brushed the teeth marks, sending a rush of blood to pool in his groin. Images flashed in his mind. The crisp chill of the night filled his memory as Moony's heat radiated from his aching body, the smell of fresh grass, mud, and aroual rested on the tip of his tongue. He had to get James out of here.

"Well, I guess you could try and get Remus to talk about it. He seems closer to you than anyone else," James suggested, moving towards the door. "Tell me if you find out anything."

"I will," Sirius said, arms held tightly to his side, positioning his robes to hang in his favor. With a wink and a smile, James was out of the common room and Sirius found himself dashing up the stairs into the dorm. But before he even had the time to kick off his shoes and dive into his curtain draped bed or rush into the washroom, the door opened again. He spun around, unable to wipe the frustration from his face. That is, until he saw that it was Remus. His face fell and suddenly he found he was faced with a different sort of problem. Remus looked at him oddly before setting his books on his bed.

"How are you, Sirius?" His voice was quiet and he wouldn't raise his eyes to meet his face.

"Fine. Pomfrey let you out earlier than usual. There was no problem, I suppose?"

"No, no problems at all. I have a few cuts from twigs and bushes and, of course, the initial transformation aches and pains. She still can't figure out why I'm ending up with less and less wounds. She concluded that it was my positive outlook or my maturity or something. I don't know what to tell her." He glanced up at Sirius, who had his hand on the back of his neck, rubbing it gingerly.

"I didn't bite down too hard, did I?"

Sirius chocked on the breath he had been holding. He stood, stunned, going over the words in his mind. "You … You remembered? I thought you weren't even aware that it happened." His stomach trembled and he couldn't believe that this was happening. He tried to fight the blush that crept onto his cheeks and ears.

Remus averted his eyes again. He sat on the bed, gripping at the covers. His voice was pained as he struggled to speak. "I remember everything. I can't begin to explain. I don't even understand it myself."

Sirius stood there, hand still on his neck. He pressed his hand so hard that he could feel blood rise to the very point. At least the pain relieved a little of the embarrassment. But he found this an opportune moment to question him. He knew that at this moment he had the upper hand. "Do you want to talk about it? You know, it's okay."

"I'd rather never talk about it. I told you I can't explain why it happened. I'm sorry. I'm just glad that Prongs was there to …" he visibly cringed, obviously unable to bring himself to the thought.

"It's fine," Sirius said. "Really it is. There are some things that you can't explain, but that doesn't mean you don't talk about it," Sirius started to move closer to Remus who held his face so low that his fringe covered his eyes. "No matter what happens, I want you to be able to talk to me if you ever need to. You don't have to be ashamed - "

"_Ashamed that I wanted to do that to you_?" Remus nearly yelled. His entire body trembled and Sirius could literally feel the tension that poured from him. But that was because it was the same that had plagued him all morning. "But I _am_ ashamed of it. I shouldn't think the way I do. Last night was just the beginning of the problem. I can't get this thing out of my head. I know that it's wrong, but I can't stop. It's like it's always there, screaming at me, taunting me. You wouldn't even look at me if you knew. Knew all the things that I thought."

Sirius couldn't believe what he was hearing. But there wasn't time for him to think and he sat down on the bed tentatively, placing a hand softly on his shoulder. Remus threw his head to the side, doing everything he could to get away from him without standing. "You shouldn't be ashamed because I've been thinking about the same things." Remus continued to look away, but Sirius could feel his body tense beside him.

"That's not funny, Sirius. I'm trying to explain myself and you're making …"

"It's not a joke." Sirius' throat tightened to the point of it causing him pain. He turned his head to cough. When he turned back his face nearly crashed into Remus' and their lips met briefly. Before Sirius had enough time to pull away, Remus pressed against him, kissing him hard. His lips were dry and needy and perfect against his own. He couldn't get enough of them. His brain briefly registered Remus' fingers in his hair as their tongues met in a frenzy of electromagnetic touches. Unable to control himself, he threw the books to the floor and pushed Remus against the bed, looming over him, their lips only parting to suck in air, their hands pushing and tugging and gripping greedily.

"Last night …" Sirius gasped, "was what I've …" But Remus pulled him atop him fully, his tongue slipping into his mouth, their groins grinding heatedly. Sirius pulled away then, surprised at how the feel of Remus' body made his toes curl and back arch in need. Need for more.

He lowered his lips to Remus' again, this time slow and sweet. His fingers tangled in his hair again and his eyes fluttered closed, enjoying the way Remus' hands fit so perfectly around his face, his neck. His fingertips flickered across the wound and Sirius groaned, tongue twisting in his mouth. Remus smiled through it, his kisses becoming more intense. Sirius let go of his mouth with a gentle smack and he set his forehead against Remus' own, sighing. He sunk down onto Remus, his arms snaking around him in a warm embrace, their legs tangled and hanging off the side of the bed. "What are we going to do now?"

Remus returned the embrace, hands roaming freely against his back as he buried his face into his nape. "This," he replied. "All we can do is this."

Sirius rolled onto his side, pulling Remus along with him. His heart inside of his chest swelled as he gazed upon Remus' kiss-swollen lips. And he knew that he was right. All he could do now was hold onto Remus, not knowing how life would be like if he were to let go. For now, he simply enjoyed the fact that he would never have to know.

A.N./ Yeah, so please comment. Sorry if there are any misspelled words/grammar mistakes. It's late and I'm still trying to study for a test in a few hours (damn limbic system, damn neural connections). I've looked it over a few times, but I know that it's just half assed rereading. But, if you liked it, please please please comment!


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